Or maybe both?? Y'know, two sad, angsty, not-quite-natural guys who're sort of poetic inside drinking away their sorrows, in some seedy and violent bar, pouring out the woes and alas-es to each other, ending in...

I'll be quiet now. Go watch the news, or something similarly serious. Maybe if I'm lucky, after a time I'll end up normal. And maybe as I do, the above idea will turn out to be canon and little mutant vampire scientific-miracle babies will overrun all fandoms, ever.

Nope, News isn't working.